Amy was a middle child. I specify this because it’s integral to what happens in this story. You see, Amy, like most middle children, had the habit of getting herself in unlikely situations, then hoping that some family member or random do-gooder would intervene and save her life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All princesses caught in towers or imprisoned in crystal caves are, without fail, middle children. Eldest children become queens, kings, surgeon generals and lich lords. And the youngest\u2014ah, who cares? We’ve forgotten them already.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Amy was a butcher\u2019s daughter, but she was very beautiful and energetic and said clever things sometimes, which impressed all the young men in the village.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A knight named Ryan (who’d earned his knighthood after a run-in with a rampaging griffin that turned out to be in heat) was particularly interested in Amy. That didn’t surprise Amy in the slightest\u2014at least it wouldn\u2019t have, had she been even remotely aware of him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Poor Sir Ryan chased Amy around for quite a while\u2014not in that somewhat creepy way that men do, but in the devoted, quiet, never-noticed-by-the-love-of-his-life way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Amy went about her day like she always did, but with an extra skip in her step for the fair luck she\u2019d been having. Of late, everything, without fail, worked out splendidly for her. She always got the freshest slice of bread with her breakfast. Hers were the driest boots despite the recent rain. Her duvet always smelled fresh, and her pillows looked like they had been recently plumped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She attributed it to good luck. Sir Ryan attributed his lack of sleep and fraying nerves to her good fortune\u2014and still, he remained unnoticed and increasingly uncertain of how to make himself known enough to win her affections.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This all went on until the day a dragon appeared and did a very dragon-like thing: It kidnapped the most beautiful person in the kingdom. And the most beautiful person was\u2026(wait for it)\u2026Sir Ryan!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What?! That\u2019s right!<\/em> This is a tale about a hopeless boy being saved by the charismatic\u2014if somewhat annoying\u2014middle child. Erm. Girl.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Now, \u201cmost beautiful\u201d person can be translated to \u201cmost honourable\u201d or \u201cmost coherent\u201d by medieval fantasy standards. It had very little to do with outward appearance. (Sorry, Sir Ryan).<\/p>\n\n\n\n The dragon swooped into the town, took one look at Sir Ryan\u2019s shiny armour and objectively hunky personality (he was gathering flowers from a meadow at the time) and plucked him up by its claws. The brave knight screamed and peed himself a bit, but I think we can all agree that most of us would have done the same in that situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The dragon dropped its shiny prize amongst its golden hoard, in a cave cut into the steep pinnacle of an impressively large cliff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was around this time that Amy realised her luck had run dry. Or rather, fewer things were going her way. Life was still pretty good, but something was missing. She mused on this for several days\u2014and considered taking up the sport of croquet as a pastime\u2014when another boy in the village stuck his nose in the air and declared that the reason Amy\u2019s life had been so wonderful was because of the stupidly nice knight who followed her around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCreepy!\u201d Amy gasped (fair) before settling into more of an admiring interest for the young man who\u2019d spent so much of his knightly time ensuring her well-being. \u201cAlright, what happened to him?\u201d she asked, thinking that this was quite an easy way to find a kindly husband\u2014and far better than the usual hubbub of picking the first man at the market who smelled the least like manure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHe\u2019s been kidnapped by a dragon. Obviously<\/em>,\u201d said the boy and stomped off. (On the rating of manure smell, he was a ten out of eleven).<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, then,\u201d Amy harrumphed, picking up the nearest pitchfork and dusting off her best pair of boots and a spare outfit (though they had not a speck of dust on them thanks to Sir Ryan\u2019s shoe polishing and thorough laundering). \u201cI guess I\u2019d better go save him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Not such an easy marriage match after all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Amy found the tallest cliff, decided the pitchfork hadn\u2019t been the best idea, and climbed up and up and up. (She had strong hands because she, like all village girls, milked an obscene amount of cows). Alas, when she reached the top, there he was! Her knight in shining\u2014er\u2026 Sir Ryan had been stripped down to his pantaloons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He threw his hands over his bare chest at her arrival and let out a dignified squeal. \u201cIt only wanted my armour!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI see.\u201d Amy inspected the boy from top to tail, and, thank their draconic overlords, he had no tail. \u201cWe\u2019ll just have to put you in this, then.\u201d She dug out her extra dress and handed it over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ryan inspected the frilly cuffs and tight bodice, then shrugged and put it on. It was a bit snug, but not nearly as snug as he might have hoped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIs this your dress?\u201d he asked his dearest love. When Amy nodded, he let out a sorrowful groan. \u201cWhy does it fit me so well?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n But Amy was already pressed on her plan. \u201cWe need to get out of here! How shall we get down?\u201d She stared over the expansive drop with a twist of nausea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cErm\u2026 Didn\u2019t you think about how we\u2019d get down before you came up here?\u201d Sir Ryan asked, quickly fixing his hair in the shining reflection of a golden crown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Amy stuck her hands on her hips and spun to face him, lending his assumptions correct. \u201cI hadn\u2019t thought that far ahead!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCould we climb down the same way you came up?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBrilliant!\u201d She threw up her hands with a scowl. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you do that before?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt looked difficult,\u201d the knight said weakly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, now my fingers are tired.\u201d Amy squinted at the boy accusingly. \u201cYou\u2019re not a middle child, are you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sir Ryan\u2019s shoulders drooped. \u201cI am.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, great,\u201d Amy declared and sank into a pile of gold the size of her house. \u201cWe\u2019re both doomed.\u201d And then she took a nap. SUBSCRIBE HERE <\/a>TO ALWAYS GET THE LATEST POSTS.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Amy was a middle child. I specify this because it’s integral to what happens in this story. You see, Amy, like most middle children, had the habit of getting herself in unlikely situations, then hoping that some family member or random do-gooder would intervene and save her life. All princesses caught in towers or imprisoned…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2091,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","filesize_raw":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[447,9,8],"tags":[448,330,449,15,73,450,451,82,80],"series":[],"class_list":["post-2090","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-comedic","category-fantasy","category-humour","tag-comedic","tag-comedy","tag-fairy-tale","tag-fantasy","tag-humour","tag-knight","tag-princess","tag-romance","tag-short-story"],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/blog.alexisveenendaal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/4.png","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/blog.alexisveenendaal.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/seriously-simple-podcasting\/assets\/images\/no-album-art.png","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"amazon":{"key":"amazon","url":"https:\/\/music.amazon.ca\/podcasts\/09c34bbc-b359-49af-a286-31830ed5634c\/short-stories","label":"Amazon","class":"amazon","icon":"amazon.png"},"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/short-stories\/id1621456328","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_play":{"key":"google_play","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.google.com\/feed\/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbGV4aXN2ZWVuZW5kYWFsLmNvbS9mZWVkL3BvZGNhc3Qvc2hvcnQtc3Rvcmllcw","label":"Google Play","class":"google_play","icon":"google-play.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.google.com\/feed\/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbGV4aXN2ZWVuZW5kYWFsLmNvbS9mZWVkL3BvZGNhc3Qvc2hvcnQtc3Rvcmllcw","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0lcQCRs52MfYlKs35lVX4K","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"itunes":{"key":"itunes","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/short-stories\/id1621456328","label":"iTunes","class":"itunes","icon":"itunes.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/blog.alexisveenendaal.com\/feed\/podcast\/default-podcast","embedCode":"
THE END.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nThe Middle Child and the Daring Knight<\/a><\/blockquote>