The Lightning struck its bolt exactly where it\u2019d meant to\u2013two feet to the left of the little boy with the very big destiny\u2013and zapped the hell out of him. Then, the world went blinking mad, just as the Lightning had intended.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
#<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apocalypses didn\u2019t happen every day, but once they got started, they had this annoying habit of going about their business. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Those who exercised reasoning were the first to go, followed by fans of survival shows (they <\/em>believed they understood the wilderness, having never left the confines of their paved-and-plastered twenty-fourth-floor apartments and most ended up eating the wrong type of mushroom in the first week). The hoarders did all right, at least for the first while. And the jerks? They made it all the way to the end, because nature loved adding a thorn to a rose bush. It turned out that at the end of the world, those CEOs who couldn\u2019t convert a Word document into a PDF did just fine in a dog-eat-dog-eat-rat-eat-human society.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As you\u2019ve probably guessed, the world went to absolute shite: war, famine, influencers\u2026<\/em> And now, all that remained was a desert wasteland, some withstanding concrete walls, and the kindling flame that had burned through humanity since the dawn of time: the insufferable need to keep carrying on despite all odds begging it not to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This stubbornness struck the Lightning as intriguing. That\u2019s why the Lightning and its fellow Natural Gods decided to set this whole apocalypse thing in motion\u2013to see how far they could push humanity before it snapped like a Kit-Kat. The Gods called it divine justice. But, for it to be truly<\/em> justified, they had to balance this test by giving one human a bit extra<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n That human\u2019s name was Dave. And yes, Dave was the small boy whom the Lightning decided to strike. Except now, he was an adult, lending some weight to the name \u201cDave\u201d which doesn\u2019t suit anyone under the age of twenty-eight. Dave had a destiny, but he didn\u2019t know that just yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd what the hell <\/em>am I supposed to do with this junk?\u201d Perdy said, sifting through the scrap littering her table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave dug through the treasures and held up one indignantly. \u201cThis<\/em> is worth eight rations alone. Muhammed paid me fourteen last week for the off-brand ones!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perdy seemed unimpressed. \u201cGo back to Muhammed\u2019s shop, then.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave scowled. He and Perdy both knew Muhammed\u2019s shop went up in flames two days ago after a group of raiders from the south decided to adjust ownership laws in the region. The poor man had lost his entire scraps business and most of his sanity. Dave couldn\u2019t blame him. Without something to do, a man might as well lay out in the sun and waste away with the rest of the planet. \u201cFine,\u201d Dave relented. \u201cFour rations for the radio.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThree,\u201d Perdy countered, \u201cand two for the trowel. The rest is worthless.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave sighed and shovelled the remaining bits back into his bag. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Perdy stopped his hand and picked up another piece. Her usually sharp face turned to something nearing softness, then skirted it by an inch. \u201cAnd this\u2026 What?\u201d she shot at Dave\u2019s expression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNothing,\u201d he hastened to say, casting one last eye at the piece before Perdy could shove it under her workbench. The slightly battered white sign read, \u201cLive, Laugh, Love\u201d in sickeningly-sweet cursive. Dave tried not to feel any sentiment. Or feel anything at all, most days. Sometimes, people thought that if they kept some small piece of the world before<\/em>, it might come back. Even people as hardened as Perdy the Junk Collector had their lapses into that fraught and dangerous territory called hope<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But Dave knew better. Because Dave was the reason the world ended. Not that anyone but his cat knew that. (And yes, most cats did<\/em> survive the apocalypse, much to no one\u2019s surprise).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave took the rest of his officially-confirmed-useless junk and headed home. Dave\u2019s home, like most pre- and post-apocalyptic homes, consisted of four walls. In this case, the walls were made of corrugated metal and inexpert brickwork dug and cut by his own hands. Wood and its forefather, the tree, was as rare as a laugh these days.<\/p>\n\n\n\n His cat greeted him at the door, rubbing against his leg as he squeezed in, tossing his bag of junk in the corner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHey, Pep. Miss me?\u201d He dug out a rusted tin of tuna from his sole (and mostly bare) cupboard. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Pepper\u2019s purrs turned avalanche-al as she dug into the rare meat. Dave sat cross-legged on the floor and watched her, content to spend the rest of his day sitting there, staring at nothing. That\u2019s what people did in a world without television or books, or decent company. In the before times, they called it meditating. Dave called it \u201cactive decay\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave enjoyed his mental wilting for all of two minutes before someone came crashing through his door, screaming wildly about the end of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n #<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the future, people speak of destiny in much the same way they did before plumbing: with awed whispers regarding umbrellas, cracks, and the superstitious crossing of arms in the air. (Incidentally, in this future, there is no plumbing: no showers, no toilets, and certainly no laundry machines. That\u2019s why when you look around at a post-apocalyptic wasteland, everyone has a bit of dirt smudged on their face and, for some less-explicable reason, they wear a lot of netted clothing.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shadi (the woman who burst into Dave\u2019s house raving about The End) wore all the required post-apocalyptic garb in excess: black leather cuffs, a spiked collar, smudged black eyeliner, netted leggings, and impractically tall, heeled boots\u2013as if anyone could realistically walk around in those for any amount of time whilst sober. Dave only knew Shadi was sober because most everyone was\u2013not out of some bout of shame or propriety, but because liquor was hard to come by, and the components to make it even were more difficult to find. (That\u2019s not to say some people hadn\u2019t made their best efforts, but you only drank that once you decided you\u2019d had enough of your eyesight).<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow many times do I have to tell you, Shadi,\u201d Dave said patiently, \u201cthe world already ended.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pepper gave the newcomer a yellow-eyed stare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shadi pushed back her black hair and collapsed on the ground next to Dave. \u201cOh, right. You should really get a lock for that door. Wanna play snakes and ladders?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave sighed. \u201cGo on, then.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow\u2019d it go with Perdy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWon\u2019t starve for at least another week.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAll sunshine and rainbows, then.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shadi and Dave were the same age. Both had been six when the world ended. For Shadi, that meant screaming adults running like mad through the streets whilst everything burned. For Dave, that meant he woke up on the ground, ears ringing and nose bleeding as a lightning storm cracked around him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n He\u2019d been struck, or nearly struck, but didn\u2019t realise it right away. Then he\u2019d heard a voice in his head with the authority of a movie announcer saying, \u201cIn a world where things are about to get a whole lot worse…<\/em>\u201d But this voice buzzed through him like an electric current. \u201cYou\u2019re humanity\u2019s last hope, Dave,\u201d it intoned authoritatively. \u201cYou can also destroy it if you\u2019d like.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n And sure enough, six-year-old Dave had a thought. He thought that maybe the world ending wouldn\u2019t be so bad. Because sometimes the world<\/em> could be bad. That singular thought set the world alight. It caused earthquakes, monsoons, nuclear launches, and the end of Hollywood as we know it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Since that day, Dave just tried to keep his head down (and avoid any unnecessary thoughts). And for the life of him, he couldn\u2019t say whether he\u2019d imagined that voice. Getting almost struck by lightning had probably knocked something loose in his brain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave and Shadi were about halfway through their game when another figure burst through Dave\u2019s door, panting and pushing back the few remaining strands of mousy brown hair clinging to the top of his head. \u201cWe\u2019re all going to die!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou should really get a lock,\u201d Shadi suggested and rolled the die. \u201cSnake again?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave rubbed his face. \u201cWhat is it, now, Tony?\u201d Somehow, Dave had become everyone\u2019s proverbial wall on which to throw their spaghetti. Oh, how he missed spaghetti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRain\u2019s coming,\u201d Tony announced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave and Shadi\u2019s mouths dropped open. Rain? <\/em>But they hadn\u2019t seen rain in\u2026 well, since The End. Another strange phenomenon that science might\u2019ve been able to answer. Unfortunately, the scientists were some of the first to be ousted from the New World Order\u2013they being the people of reasoning we mentioned before. Facts tended to be depressing, and anyone could open their eyes and see the climate had changed and all the penguins were dead. No use studying what they couldn\u2019t fix. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow do you know?\u201d Dave asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe flowers told me.\u201d Tony was the town gardener. In a world where plants were more precious than socks (also a hot commodity) a green-thumbed plant whisperer was the most prestigious career path someone could take in the after-times. Tony was also the town mayor, and in the before times, he\u2019d been a professional pie-eating contestant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAh,\u201d Dave said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Of the people who survived the apocalypse, most sat under three categories: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Shadi was a kid. And though Dave didn\u2019t know for certain, he had it on good authority that Tony used to exclusively wear nightclothes out in public.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Any kids born in the after-times automatically became jerks out of necessity. Dave stubbornly resisted both madness and jerkness and therefore became everyone\u2019s go-to confidant. Except for Perdy, the Junk Collector. She was inscrutable. And annoyingly attractive. And not at all interested in him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRain sounds nice,\u201d Shadi said dreamily.<\/p>\n\n\n\n All their water came from dusty holes in the ground and tasted as good as it looked. Rain had stopped when the world ended, and over the following decade and a half, superstitions grew like tumbleweeds about what might happen if it ever returned. The last lightning Dave had ever seen was the bolt that turned everything upside down\u2013then right-side up again, but stirred in all the wrong ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAre you saying the flowers spoke <\/em>to you?\u201d Dave cautioned. Folk said it was only a matter of time before mutants came from the nuclear aftermath, but somehow, Dave doubted talking flowers would be the first to evolve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tony gave him a look. \u201cYou feeling all right, there, kid? Flowers don\u2019t talk. It\u2019s their stems. They grow different. I remember how it used to be.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo\u2013what happens when it rains?\u201d Dave wondered aloud, and no one answered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Unfortunately for them, they wouldn\u2019t have to wait long to find out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n #<\/p>\n\n\n\n The day had finally come for the Lightning to return. It and the other Natural Gods agreed the human race had run its trials and proved, once and for all, to fall below standard. Cats seemed all right, actually, and the Lightning decided to let them carry on. But the Lightning\u2019s chosen one, who had begun the end and never explored his bestowed powers after that day, had one last chance<\/em> to stop the new beginning and make his final plight for humanity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Lightning hadn\u2019t looked forward to anything so much in years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n #<\/p>\n\n\n\n The storm came all at once like a nightmare\u2013or like vomiting after eating a helping of fifteen-year-expired beans. It was about as pretty as that, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGet inside!\u201d Dave shouted over the wind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat, inside this tin can?\u201d Shadi asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, it\u2019s better than being outside!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIs it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave threw up his hands. \u201cDo what you want!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI told you the world was ending!\u201d Shadi called brightly as Dave wrapped Pepper inside his coat and pushed through the mounting dust cloud toward Perdy\u2019s shop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He turned back and watched her and Tony dash for the mayor\u2019s slightly more sturdy abode.<\/p>\n\n\n\n #<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m a little busy at the moment!\u201d Perdy shouted, the sides of her shop rattling violently as she wrestled to board down the open windows. \u201cAll sales are final!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m not here to make a return!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, I\u2019m not a charity shop, and I\u2019m certainly not providing a safe space for everyone in town to hunker in and share their feelings.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDo you know what\u2019s going to happen?\u201d Dave asked in exasperation. \u201cPeople need to hide!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThey can do it where they won\u2019t try filching my stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cUnbelievable.\u201d Dave unzipped his jacket and Pepper popped her head out. \u201cWill you protect her, at least?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perdy and Pepper shared a look. \u201cYeah, all right.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGreat. At least you\u2019re not a complete sociopath.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pepper leapt out of his jacket, the hair along her spine prickling as she sniffed her noisy surroundings. Heaps of bits and bobs from the before times littered the space in crates and boxes. Pepper found a neon pink bouncy ball and prodded it with a paw.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, at least my cat will survive.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s just a storm,\u201d Perdy dismissed, trying in vain to balance a nail over a loose board.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLet me help.\u201d Without waiting for her answer, Dave took the board and held it in position. \u201cWaste of valuable wood if you ask me.\u201d Perdy glanced at him, then picked up the hammer and tapped the nail into place. \u201cYou realise there hasn\u2019t been a storm since\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYeah,\u201d she said. \u201cBig woop. The world ended fifteen years ago. What\u2019s the point?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSays the woman trying to protect her stuff over human lives.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou <\/em>try being a successful businessperson at the end of the world and see how people like you<\/em>. You either float or sink. That\u2019s what my d\u2013that\u2019s what I\u2019ve heard.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave released the punctured board. \u201cYou could\u2013\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n A crack of lightning split the air, searing through each slatted space in the shop and casting an afterglow of prison bars. Pepper howled and dove for cover. Dave dashed for the door and looked out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The sky had turned to a roiling mass of overcooked rat stew. Something wet splattered on Dave\u2019s face. He reached up and wiped off the moisture, staring down at his hand. Rain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A fork of light cracked the black atmosphere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave felt emotions coming on and stifled them. \u201cIs this what you want?<\/em>\u201d he shouted at the sky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thunder rolled like a barrel of skulls tumbling down a hill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAll right, fine! You can come inside! Just\u2013stop screaming like a madman,\u201d Perdy called from the door, holding her whipping hair out of her face. \u201cYou\u2019re starting to fit in with the rest of us a little too well!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave turned back to her. \u201cI\u2019ve been meaning to mention this to someone for a while.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perdy raised her brows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave dug a hand in the back of his hair. \u201cSo, erm, I\u2019m the reason all of this happened.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perdy\u2019s sharp face turned amused. \u201cYou prayed for rain a little too hard?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo, I mean all of this.\u201d He gestured to their surroundings as the wind kicked over a few loose chairs and sent them flying into the beyond. Some of the less well-constructed shelters had already lost half their shingles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGreat story, Dave. Want to come inside now?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He shook his head. \u201cI mean, I made the world end. When I was a boy. I got struck by lightning, and three seconds later, the apocalypse started.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRight, well, I\u2019ll be in here if you need me\u2026\u201d She began pulling the door closed as another flash of lightning bolted across the sky and hit a makeshift radio tower. The whole thing ignited and crumbled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave balled his hands into fists and stared at the Lightning. \u201cWhat do you want from me? Why did you do this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The storm paused and turned to look at Dave\u2013at least, that\u2019s how he perceived the slightly darker masses within the low grey-green clouds: as huge, fierce eyes of infinite peril.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCan I convince you to leave us alone?\u201d he called.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The storm shook its head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI guess I\u2019ll have to kill you, then.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The thunder chuckled. Then it choked as Dave released fifteen years of pent-up angst. Because of this stupid storm, he\u2019d lived in a shack in a deserted wasteland. He scraped a living off old trash. The girl he liked all but ignored him. His parents were dead. His cousins. His friends. Pretty much everyone he knew and liked from his former life. That left him and a bunch of insane people at the end of all things\u2013no morals, and no real reason to continue with this life business except for those pesky instincts prodding them along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave\u2019s anger came out as a fiery tornado burning white hot. It seemed to do the trick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But Dave was a human man standing against the forces of nature. And nature was eternal. The Lightning struck back\u2013not at Dave, but at the nearby building with \u201cYe Old As Ass Shop\u201d. The rusted building exploded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave spun and ran for it, screaming. The white-and-black spotted shape of Pepper the cat sped past and out of sight, and he kept running. \u201cPerdy!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The storm gloated and turned its rage on the rest of the town. Old, long-disused car skeletons flew into the sides of buildings, crushing them and whoever was foolish enough to have hidden inside. Tony\u2019s beautiful, sparse garden got buried under a sudden bout of eyeball-sized hail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave skidded to a halt over the shrapnel of Perdy\u2019s shop and dug through it without any care for his hands. He heard a moan over the wind and hobbled toward it. \u201cPerdy!\u201d He dragged aside a long sheet of metal and a tattooed arm shot up, something clenched tightly in its fist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was the \u201cLive, Laugh, Love\u201d sign, slightly more scarred than before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave reached for the arm and pulled the rest of Perdy up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She emerged, shaking and cursing, and still holding her precious sign. She pointed it at him like a gavel. \u201cThis is your fault!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI tried explaining that two minutes ago!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell.\u201d Her face twisted as she caught her breath. She looked him up and down. \u201cI think I believe you, now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He gave a pathetic shrug. \u201cGreat.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Lightning, bored of its other murderous amusements, turned back to the chosen boy and crackled with ecstatic energy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat, or we\u2019re all mad.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She hesitated. \u201cWhat does it want?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTo kill us, I think.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLovely.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow can I convince you to let us live?\u201d Dave shouted at it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It squeezed out another burble of thunder, less ominous than before, but still deafening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSure, yeah, humanity sucks!\u201d Dave shot back. \u201cI get it! We kinda screwed you over. Made a right mess out of it. Cut down the trees! Melted the ice! Started a lot of wars\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAre you trying to save us, or get us killed faster?\u201d Perdy hissed at his shoulder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYeah, we\u2019re not perfect!\u201d Dave yelled, and felt the Lightning\u2019s energy build up and up. His and Perdy\u2019s hair stood on end, and he became very aware of all the metal they stood on. \u201cWe\u2019re not perfect!\u201d he repeated. \u201cAnd neither are you!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n This gave the Lightning pause. The rest of the storm pulled back a minute to listen. The entity\u2019s question came as a sprinkling mist of soft rain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou started fires! You gave us the idea for them! And electricity? And violence? You were the first violence we ever saw! And what about your pals, eh? The earthquakes, the hurricanes, the tornadoes and flooding? We killed millions\u2013but how many have you killed? You started all this mess\u2013and now you\u2019re blaming it on us! You should\u2019ve been a better influence!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Lightning recoiled and considered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd also!\u201d Perdy stepped forward and held up the little sign in her hand. \u201cThis!\u201d she shook it to make her point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave stared at her but she ignored him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIn case you dummies can\u2019t read,\u201d Perdy yelled, \u201cit says \u2018Live, Laugh, Love\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMaybe insulting them isn\u2019t the best\u2026\u201d Dave started to murmur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The storm shook, but it felt like the sort of shake one gives when they\u2019re contemplating an existential question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSure, people are shit sometimes,\u201d Perdy said, \u201cbut we\u2019re also pretty great! Like Dave, here. He\u2019s always helping out. He threw himself at this storm so everyone else could get away. That\u2019s a good guy in my books!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave blushed. \u201cEr, thanks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cShut up. I\u2019m talking to the sky.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRight.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLive, laugh, love!\u201d Perdy repeated. \u201cYour proof that humanity\u2019s still got some promise.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Natural Gods, the harbingers of destruction, dipped their metaphorical heads together and murmured amongst themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow long do you think this\u2019ll take?\u201d Perdy whispered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave was at a loss for words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The storm turned back to them and let out a mighty, electric roar that echoed over the heavens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And then, quite rapidly, the black clouds withdrew, sucking back the torrential wind. The Lightning flipped them one last, self-righteous fork, then vanished. The sky paled to a pleasant, saturated grey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The first few cheerful raindrops fell onto the parched earth and melted into the dust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave stood stunned for a few minutes before someone clapped him on the shoulder. It was Perdy. She was grinning. \u201cThat went well.\u201d She looked down at the white-washed sign in her hand, then around at her destroyed shop. \u201cI guess I know what we\u2019ll be doing for the next month.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe?\u201d Dave perked up. He still wasn\u2019t sure he\u2019d processed everything that had happened in the last five minutes, but he was just as ready to move on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA chance to rebuild, as they say.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI didn\u2019t mark you for an optimist.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perdy sighed and bent down, snapping her fingers. \u201cYou are<\/em> just a dumb boy.\u201d Pepper popped her whiskered face from behind a nearby building and sprinted toward Perdy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cVery true,\u201d Dave agreed with a smile, and reached down to pick up his cat. Pepper purred and stretched out her neck for scratches. \u201cYou know what this means, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHm?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dave could hardly hold in the laugh. \u201cHumanity\u2019s new motto.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, God<\/em>. My mom would\u2019ve loved that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n And from that day forth, the Natural Gods watched on with patient restraint as humanity scraped a new start out of the tired earth, living by the simple motto to live, laugh, and love<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Apocalypses didn\u2019t happen every day, but once they got started, they had this annoying habit of going about their business.\u00a0<\/p>\n Those who exercised reasoning were the first to go, followed by fans of survival shows (they believed they understood the wilderness, having never left the confines of their paved-and-plastered twenty-fourth-floor apartments and most ended up eating the wrong type of mushroom in the first week). The hoarders did all right, at least for the first while. And the jerks? They made it all the way to the end, because nature loved adding a thorn to a rose bush. It turned out that at the end of the world, those CEOs who couldn\u2019t convert a Word document into a PDF did just fine in a dog-eat-dog-eat-rat-eat-human society.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1942,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","filesize_raw":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9,8,10],"tags":[393,330,392,394,15,224,73,197],"series":[],"class_list":["post-1952","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fantasy","category-humour","category-sci-fi","tag-apocalypse","tag-comedy","tag-dystopian","tag-end-of-the-world","tag-fantasy","tag-fiction","tag-humour","tag-science-fiction"],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/blog.alexisveenendaal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/10.png","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/blog.alexisveenendaal.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/seriously-simple-podcasting\/assets\/images\/no-album-art.png","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"amazon":{"key":"amazon","url":"https:\/\/music.amazon.ca\/podcasts\/09c34bbc-b359-49af-a286-31830ed5634c\/short-stories","label":"Amazon","class":"amazon","icon":"amazon.png"},"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/short-stories\/id1621456328","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_play":{"key":"google_play","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.google.com\/feed\/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbGV4aXN2ZWVuZW5kYWFsLmNvbS9mZWVkL3BvZGNhc3Qvc2hvcnQtc3Rvcmllcw","label":"Google Play","class":"google_play","icon":"google-play.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.google.com\/feed\/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbGV4aXN2ZWVuZW5kYWFsLmNvbS9mZWVkL3BvZGNhc3Qvc2hvcnQtc3Rvcmllcw","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0lcQCRs52MfYlKs35lVX4K","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"itunes":{"key":"itunes","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/short-stories\/id1621456328","label":"iTunes","class":"itunes","icon":"itunes.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/blog.alexisveenendaal.com\/feed\/podcast\/default-podcast","embedCode":"\n
Dave at the End of the World<\/a><\/blockquote>