{"id":111,"date":"2021-06-11T11:59:00","date_gmt":"2021-06-11T11:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/141.148.246.190\/index.php\/single-post\/dont-call-me-please\/"},"modified":"2022-04-20T11:33:36","modified_gmt":"2022-04-20T11:33:36","slug":"dont-call-me-please","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.alexisveenendaal.com\/index.php\/2021\/06\/11\/dont-call-me-please\/","title":{"rendered":"Don’t Call Me, Please"},"content":{"rendered":"
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<\/p>\n
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Hey, you weirdo<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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don’t call me.<\/span><\/p>\n

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If my phone rings,<\/span><\/p>\n

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I’m up a tree.<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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Hey you, adult,<\/span><\/p>\n

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send me a text, <\/span><\/p>\n

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or maybe email,<\/span><\/p>\n

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that’s better yet.<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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Please don’t call<\/span><\/p>\n

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or I may just cry.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I will not answer<\/span><\/p>\n

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but may certainly die.<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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Don’t leave a message<\/span><\/p>\n

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At the beep.<\/span><\/p>\n

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I’m not busy<\/span><\/p>\n

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But I’ll pretend to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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Don’t lecture me,<\/span><\/p>\n

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I won’t take your call.<\/span><\/p>\n

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You ought to know<\/span><\/p>\n

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I’m anti-social.<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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Draw me a picture<\/span><\/p>\n

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or send a letter,<\/span><\/p>\n

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or why don’t you just<\/span><\/p>\n

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find a friend who’s… better!<\/span><\/p>\n

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\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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<\/main><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Please don’t call
\nor I may just cry.
\nI will not answer
\nbut may certainly die.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":975,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"episode_type":"","audio_file":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","filesize_raw":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8,1],"tags":[72,73,76,77,71],"series":[],"class_list":["post-111","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humour","category-poetry","tag-funny","tag-humour","tag-joke","tag-phone","tag-poetry"],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/blog.alexisveenendaal.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/b24386_25baba1266b648f5b86f3d2546b7778b_mv2-e1650801776535.webp","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/blog.alexisveenendaal.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/seriously-simple-podcasting\/assets\/images\/no-album-art.png","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"amazon":{"key":"amazon","url":"https:\/\/music.amazon.ca\/podcasts\/09c34bbc-b359-49af-a286-31830ed5634c\/short-stories","label":"Amazon","class":"amazon","icon":"amazon.png"},"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/short-stories\/id1621456328","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_play":{"key":"google_play","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.google.com\/feed\/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbGV4aXN2ZWVuZW5kYWFsLmNvbS9mZWVkL3BvZGNhc3Qvc2hvcnQtc3Rvcmllcw","label":"Google Play","class":"google_play","icon":"google-play.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.google.com\/feed\/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbGV4aXN2ZWVuZW5kYWFsLmNvbS9mZWVkL3BvZGNhc3Qvc2hvcnQtc3Rvcmllcw","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0lcQCRs52MfYlKs35lVX4K","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"itunes":{"key":"itunes","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/short-stories\/id1621456328","label":"iTunes","class":"itunes","icon":"itunes.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/blog.alexisveenendaal.com\/feed\/podcast\/default-podcast","embedCode":"

Don’t Call Me, Please<\/a><\/blockquote>